A NOTE TO PRs

Can I send you a press release/event invite/interview opportunity?

I'm afraid I don't write articles based on e-mails from PR reps. Sorry: my inbox gets too full and then I have to spend time pruning it and fiddling with filters. Best of luck elsewhere, though!

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But what if I've got the absolutely perfect opportunity for you/your outlet?

I would then say that, firstly, as a freelancer I don't have a single outlet. Secondly I would say, politely, that I guarantee nothing will come of your offer, so please don't e-mail me. Try a section editor, instead.

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What if I just drop you a quick line anyway?

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I will delete your e-mail and you will be assigned a number. This number will be entered into The Lottery. Once every six months, I will draw a number from the pot at random. There are no winners in this lottery.